Fear is the green light not the red light.
If you feel fear then you need to do it.
You are in control of what happens.
You can change.
This week in my teaching I have had some quite difficult classes.
Some of the students have been rude and argumentative. They have disrupted the lesson so much that they have prevented other students from learning.
The concepts that I have been teaching have not been particularly difficult, yet because of the disruption, it has been difficult to convey them properly, making sure that each student understands them.
At the end of the lesson I have felt discouraged, worn out and yes a little fearful about whether I can manage the behaviour enough to have a lesson where the students really learn.
Do I need to change the whole structure of the lesson, or just some of the elements?
Do I need need to change the way I teach and react less to the behaviour which some of the students probably design to upset me and cause disruption?
The answer is definitely 'yes' within certain parameters.
Am I afraid of that?
Again the answer is 'yes'.
It means more work and more trial and error with this particular group.
It will demand more time and effort when I am planning my lessons.
I will need to continue my own professional development, researching, studying and putting into practice strategies and ideas to break the cycle of poor behaviour.
And the further fear?
That the demands of the education system and the inspection regimes are such that I am not supposed to get this wrong. That each student should seemingly be on an ever upward learning cycle. That it could affect my appraisal result, my ability to teach.
Yet I feel the fear and so I need to do it.
For the sake of my students and their learning.
For the sake of the education system.
But most of all for my own sake.
For the knowledge that I have done the very best I can and that at some later stage, some of my students may have cause to thank me for the way in which I helped them through a difficult time.
Life is not easy.
Teaching is not easy.
Learning is not easy.
But we must all feel the fear and do it anyway.
I CAN change.