Release and let go

Day 2 of Luminita's Happiness Challenge is about release and let go.

We frequently hold on to things; ideas, situations and relationships which are doing us no good and we should let go of them.

REMINDER: Today’s happiness theme is “release and let go.”Are you holding onto something you need to let go of? Are you ready to let go?

Following on from my post yesterday about difficult students and being able to forgive myself, I know I also need to take the next step to release my feelings about that behaviour.

Are those students deliberately trying to provoke me to see how far they can push it?

Are they trying to do anything they can to stop them having to do work during the lesson?

Do they want to be seen as the student who has the most power in the classroom?

Are they trying to gain attention at any cost?

(The answer, in some cases, is probably 'yes'.)

And probably the biggest reason?

I teach the bottom sets and students who struggle with maths.

By the time that they are teenagers, many of them will have spent several years believing that they are useless, thick, unable to do maths and so they have learned strategies to cope with with a subject they believe is hard and even beyond them.

I love supporting students who have had difficulties learning a subject.  Most of my work has been in small groups and one to one.

I know that is where my strengths lie.  So teaching in the classroom has not always been easy for me.

Sometimes I berate myself for my inability to help the students in the lesson, or control their behaviour.

But I know I have to release those feelings and let them go. I and they need to be able to move forward, not get stuck in what has happened.

What do you need to let go from your life?

Forgiveness

Today is Day 1 of the Happiness Challenge.  See my blog post about it here - it's not too late to join!

It starts with forgiveness and is something we all have to face in different ways.

The email from Luminita tells us:

REMINDER: For today, the focus is on forgiveness. When was the
last time you truly, deeply forgave someone? It can be someone in
your past or present, or it can even be yourself.

Ouch!  That last phrase hurt!

How often do we forget to forgive ourselves?

As a teacher I struggle sometimes with forgiving some of the students who seem to delight in making a lesson difficult for you and the other students in the room.

Today, in one of my lessons, I had a student who lies regularly to my direct questions.  I asked him to get out his planner and he told me that he didn't have it.  I asked another adult in the room to check with the student that he didn't have it in his bag.  It appeared that he didn't. 

Yet when I checked later on in the lesson when he told me that he hadn't sprayed his body spray (which was chokingly obvious and he was the only student near his bag!) I found him only half opening his bag and holding his planner out of the way so that it couldn't be seen!

The fact that students lie to me is not new.

Neither is the fact that they are often rather bad at lying.

As a mum and a teacher, I have heard enough lies to know when someone is trying to pull the wool over my eyes!

What really upsets me though is the fact that this student can cause regular disruption to the lesson through his lies.  Sometimes I get drawn into a backwards and forwards conversation with him - usually when I am tired or frustrated by his behaviour.

Afterwards I am cross with myself for allowing him to cause disruption yet again.

I find it difficult to forgive myself for that.

Yet I am human too.  I want to do the very best I can for these students.  They have often struggled for a long time, both in school and in the subject.

I become frustrated sometimes that they don't see or accept the help which is offered to them.

Yet I know that if I am consistent, they may realise that they did receive some help and support and one day in the future, they may thank me for it.

I love teaching, though it can be very hard work and frustrating.

Most of all I need to love myself and forgiving myself for my humanity is part of that.

Who should you forgive on this first day of the Happiness Challenge?  Let me know what you think.